The Right To Homeschool My Own Children

A common theme in my life that seems to come up over and over is the question of, Is homeschooling fundamentally right or if it is our right to be able to homeschool. First off, let me say, I have a hard time when this topic comes up from idealistic and childless young singles who are out of touch of many responsibilities that parenting often brings. They are parenting's biggest critics who happen to be the most out of touch of most of reality. To them, I'd like to say that parenting is hard. Most of us parents do our best, and believe it or not, we are humans. And humans make mistakes. Even at our best. And you really have no idea how difficult it can be until you have made the journey yourself. It just makes me cringe.

Anyhow, getting back on topic: the right to homeschool. I had to ask myself, Do I really have the "right?" What gives me the "right?" The first answer I gave myself was that God not only gives me the right, but He gives me the responsibility. Not only does the bible tell me that I am responsible for teaching my children, but it gives me the responsibility to teach them about God.

Secondly, my constitution reserves things like education to "the people." See the tenth amendment. If you think that the tenth amendment means that  it is reserved to the state, well then my state has a law protecting my decision regarding right to my children's education.

Ultimately, who is responsible for children? Who do the children belong to? The parents or the State? I believe that my children belong to me. They formed in my womb, which is part of my body. They are a part of me and  I am responsible for their education. I have decided that they deserve the best. They deserve one on one tutelage. They deserve an education without limits. They deserve an education that does not segregate their faith from their daily lives. They deserve to not have to compartmentalize their lives and have the opportunities to develop a firm foundation of education in science and religion in relation to one another and not one at the risk of the other. They deserve to be parented by their parents. They deserve the best.

Now, there are a few arguments against homeschooling on if it is fundamentally "right." There are a few issues that have been brought to my attention and probably every homeschool family has been asked about these things.Topics such as neglect, abuse, socialization, bad curriculum, and bad parenting come to mind.

I'd like to start addressing this by referring back to my question on who is responsible for my children? I trust the government to enforce regulations and policies regarding our safety as citizens and protecting our well being. In most cases, homeschooling does not interfere with most children's well-being. Even though I am ultimately responsible for my children, I will humor the points brought up by others.

The case against homeschooling on grounds for abuse:

               

 How many cases of abuse have been reported in homeschool? How many cases of murder, sexual assault, rape, or physical assault have been reported in public school? That's really all I have to say about that.

                 

When parents are negligent and do not send their children to school, this is not considered homeschool. This is abuse and it can be reported. My state also requires that we send in attendance forms to help highlight these cases so that child welfare authorities can step in and investigate. A lot of homeschool moms that I know grumble at these requirements, but I can see how they can be beneficial for this very reason.

On grounds of bad curriculum or poor education:

                 

In my state, public education does not solve this problem.  You also cannot deny homeschooling based on the worst case scenario, when the average homeschooler receives a better education than most of their public school peers. This is shown in standardized testing and other studies regarding homeschool education.

On grounds of social isolation:

                 

My children are some of the most confident social individuals that you will ever meet and they are far from isolated.  We are very active in our community, my oldest daughter participates in sports, we go as a family to participate in events with our homeschool group, and my daughter does most things in life that help her develop most social norms which would be implemented in a school setting: waiting in lines, waiting for her turn to speak in conversation, eating with a group, etc. Our day to day lives are pretty common for most homeschoolers that I know of. Homeschoolers tend to be pretty active socially. And I often think that there is too much emphasis anyhow on the social aspect of education. I would like to be the person responsible for teaching my children the priority of “social lives.” And while it is fun and necessary, it is not prioritized over my child’s educational needs. 

 Even though I have humored some of you out there in showing the positive aspects of homeschooling, I hold firm to the fact that my children's education is my responsibility and choice and my government's. Public school, private school, and home school each have their benefits and each have their draw backs. This blog is not to say if one is better than the other. I do know that homeschooling is not for everyone, but it is best for my family. Each circumstance is different. I am thankful daily for my opportunity and I am doing my best to make it worthwhile for my kids.

Have you seen my marbles?

Ok. *Deep breath.* -Sigh-

Looking around.

{silence}

FINALLY.

Nevaeh is up stairs "cleaning" her room (aka, making a mess), Aidan is taking a shower (aka, painting the bathroom with his soapy loofa), and Liam is actually sleeping (believe it or not!). So, I finally have a minute to update. Looking back over the past couple of months I realize that some days, I think I may have lost my mind trying to tackle this endeavor. In that moment, I feel like I am doing my children a disservice by being the sole person responsible for their education, and I just need to give up. Thank goodness I have no other option right now. But, honestly, in that moment, my 'no other option' sort of makes me feel claustrophobic. Especially on those days when my "collicy" baby can't seem to find peace, my toddler's life starts to reflect a scene from Final Destination, and I have a work load up to my ears. School seems impossible on those days (or weeks).

Time has been hard to find. For school, for work, for chores, for anything. Some days, its a struggle just to get our basic needs met. 

I was in the middle of one of those weeks this past week. I was cleaning Aidan's poop off the floor (thanks to potty training), while holding a crying baby, when I heard a sweet voice softly from the corner of the room. It was Nevaeh. She was reading to herself. It was such a beautiful moment in the midst of my crazy week.

Normally I would not think anything of this. She's great at picking up a book and making up words to go along with the pictures and while her story is usually really good, she is not reading the words printed on the page. But this time was different. She was going through the book and reading as much as she could and sounding out words that she didn't know (which is the cutest sound ever).

Those moments give me courage. Those moments help bring me back to the earth and restore my sanity.

This may not be one of those blogs where there is an inspiring message to get to. It's just real. Home schooling can be hard some times. And I am in the middle of those times right now. But I knew this would be hard, so I'm not too surprised. I'm trying to loosen up my expectations a little bit and let go of my worries. I am coming to learn, that in all reality, I am not solely responsible for the things my children learn. Because they are constantly learning from everything around them. So, I am responsible for putting them in a thriving environment and give them as many learning opportunities as possible. It takes a lot of pressure off of me during these early learning years.

I am trying to relax and take more time to enjoy this time when my children are small. Nevaeh is learning. She is not just learning, but it seems like she is ahead of where she should be (she'd be in Kindergarten if she were in public school and she is doing most things at a first grade level). So I am trying to take out more time to just snuggle up with a good book, or just snuggle at all. Or lay out in the grass in our yard and stair at the sky while airplanes and clouds go by.  Those moments are part of why I home school, so I am trying to let those moments happen more.