Liturgy and Motherhood

Routine routine routine. I wake up each day around 2am with a prayer, "Lord, help me." And I nurse my baby, change him, and put him back down to bed.

4 am, I awake again, "Lord, give me strength." We nurse again. He fights sleep. He's teething. "Lord, ease his pain."

6:30, I am awake for the day, "Lord, be present."

I change two diapers. I prepare breakfast and begin answering the multitude of questions from my 6 year old, while cleaning the dishes that somehow manage to jump out of the cabinets into my sink over night. My two older children manage to scarf down their breakfasts and start shouting from the table, "I'm full, I'm done!" Before I've even had a chance to sit down and get started on my bowl of Corn Flakes. I shovel as much food in my mouth as I can as fast as possible, then start clearing away more dishes and help with the kids.

 It's 8:00 am and they might watch cartoons for a bit while playing with toys in the living room. I try to get some paper work done and some chores: laundry (never stops), organizing toys, dusting, etc. Sometimes nothing gets done, because I might get sucked into the Facebook warp zone (Ahhhhh!).

9:00am: About this time every day, the kids start to blow a gaskit. I try for some structured play. We spend a few minutes coloring, playing a game, doing a puzzle or something like that while I nurse.

9:30 Change two diapers. Put baby down for a nap, and the two seconds that I am gone from the room, the other two fall to pieces. I come back, and pick up the pieces: Magically erase permanent marker from the floor (Where did they find that thing? I spent half and hour looking for that the other day!), and look for other damage. Spend a few minutes in the bathroom with Aidan talking about going potty.

10:00am Snack time. More dishes! Where did these things come from? Are these even ours?! I keep doing laundry and keep an ear out for the buzzer on our dryer.

11:15am Make lunch. Do more dishes, clean more of the kitchen, get baby up, and change two more diapers.

11:30  Eat lunch.

12:00 pm Nap time for Aidan and Liam. School time for Nevaeh.

This goes on till it is time for Dale to get home, when I finally set aside the chores for the next day to relax as a family. Sometimes I continue to quietly escape and do some laundry, and I slyly set up laundry date nights periodically with Dale. Thankfully, he doesn't mind.

People are always saying to me, "I don't know how you do it. It must be so hard to have 3 young children." Yeah, its kind of hard, depending on the day. The key to my success is my routine. Some of my friends have seen my routine posted on my fridge (I do this sometimes so that Dale can jump in at anytime to help without having to ask too many questions), and they feel sorry for me, as if it's sort of a drag. I guess it could be, but it depends on how you look at it. Did you know that there are people out there who do not have families who do this sort of thing on purpose? Yeah! They get up early and work all day, take moments here and there to pray, and even wake up at absurd hours of the night to pray. For Real. They are called Monks and Nuns. And. They. Do. This. On. Purpose.

Did you know that I did this on purpose? I know. Crazy, right? I wanted children. Even after I had my first child, and I knew how much work it took, I went and had a second and THIRD on purpose. Because I feel like I am called to motherhood, and while some people see my life as a drag, I feel the many blessings from this work. I admit, I wake up cussing a portion of the time when I am woken on the hour every hour to nurse some nights. But God is working on me. He calls me to prayer in those moments: when strength, sanity, and peace are hard to find. And from the start of my day to the finish, my work is never done just like the liturgy of the church. This is not a bad thing. This is a blessing. This is a reminder of a call to pray, and a call to look for the presence of God in my day. When I look around and see a clean house, I feel satisfaction and joy in the knowledge of the prayer that took place during those chores. And I find peace in the prayer that was needed for me to complete them (Because I have three children).

I am in a place now where I am looking for more. I am Anglican, and we participate in a liturgy bigger than a denomination. Every Sunday, we join in prayers with Christians around the world, and across time. I am doing my best to bring this through my week. I want to start incorporating the daily office into my routine so that my efforts can go a bit deeper, and a little bit outside of myself. So that I can take moments in prayer each day to step prayerfully outside the doors of my house to pray with and for God and His creation. Time is hard to find, but I think God has designed it so that my day should revolve around His. Because I have noticed in my prayer life how important routine is. Just like when my kids miss a nap or sleep in past their normal breakfast time, it throws the whole day off, and sometimes the whole week. I think we are all a little bit like children, and I am finding more and more value in the example the church has set in structuring our day.